Monday, March 24, 2008

Dig The Wig!

A prominent Wig has thrown his hat into the political ring this election season (and I don't mean the ghost of former Whig President William Henry Harrison). In perhaps one of the strangest yet most entertaining episodes of The Simpsons in recent history, the long-running animated comedy declared notorious bed-wetter and slightly "touched" Ralph Wiggum as a candidate for President of the United States. What???

I missed the episode, entitled "E Pluribus Wiggum" when it first aired earlier this year, but I caught the replay last night in all its glory. Thinking I'd be clever and blog on it, I did a little research and found that Ralph has his own campaign web site. What, what???

Now here's the real shocker: Ralph's policy, though his rhetoric is a bit simplistic, is actually pretty insightful! And I can't help but support his choice for Secretary of Indian Burns.


– “Stranger danger!”

Government Spending
– “I only have this much moneys.”

Party Politics
– “Everyone is invited to my party!”

– “I Dig the Wig”

Ethics – “I’m Ralph Wiggum and I’ve been a good boy.”

Political Appointments – Bart Simpson as the Secretary of Indian Burns and Lisa Simpson as his First Ladle

Foreign Relations
– “When we’re mad we’ll use our words. Then the rest of the world will play nice with us. And the only boom-booms will be in our pants.”

And when you take into account Ralph must be strong on crime (his dad is Springfield Police Chief Clancy Wiggum), for a strong military (he once sang in music videos to recruit for the Navy - "yvan eht nioj"!) and that he's pro-education ("When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine University!"), Ralph doesn't seem such a terrible alternative. Now, whether The Simpsons was trying to make a profound statement on American elections and a return to policy over politics, or whether the show simply wanted to make a funny, I must admit that I, too, dig the wig.

BONUS: The Bloodhound Gang Sings "Ralph Wiggum" (a song composed entirely of actual Ralph Wiggum dialogue).

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