Grabbing Easter By The Hare

If there's one day of the year that's antithetical to my entire existence, it is Easter. A day in which we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus by eating copious amounts of sweet, sweet candy (such as the tooth-shatteringly powerful Peeps). For a diabetic Jew, bodes well this holiday does not. It also apparently makes me talk like Yoda. But, I digress on Yoda and move on to another long-eared character, who is front and center on Easter. Of course, I speak of the Easter Bunny. Why was this fluffy, fluffy fellow chosen as the bearer of candy? What special evolutionary or universally designed traits made the hare the obvious choice for delivering instant pep to children worldwide? The cynical response would be to say that the Easter Bunny is the lollipop after the tetanus shot. After all, what child really wants to go to Church on Easter Sunday to hear about a crucifixion and be reminded ad nausea that Jesus died for his/her sins? So...bunnies are cute. Candy tastes good. Together, they make kids feel better about what happened to JC - Q.E.D. Or, optimistically, it's an arbitrary choice to help celebrate the impending return of The Savior. And I'm cool with that. But then, I contend - and have long argued - that we Jews need a furry, functional mascot for our Spring holiday. I call him...

Murray, The Passover Kangaroo
Murray hops from door to door (like the Lord skipping past the Jewish homes in Egypt), bringing geld for all the good little boys and girls who observe the Seder. I know what you're thinking...but come on, people! It's perfectly logical! Bunnies hop. Kangaroos hop. Bunnies carry baskets. Kangaroos have pouches. Bunnies have floppy ears. Kangaroos have floppy ears. Not to mention, kangaroos have that killer accent that makes them all sound like Paul Hogan (at least that's how it is in my dreams).

Happy Easter, everyone! And until Passover, keep Murray in your hearts, mates.