Monday, March 24, 2008

Mmm...Tastes Like Prison

Bart Simpson once described meatloaf as his "most hated of all loaves." Bart never tasted what they're serving in Vermont state prisons: Nutraloaf. According to the ever-so-helpful, human-run search engine, Mahalo, Nutraloaf is "a food loaf served as punishment to unruly prisoners in many United States prisons." Though recipes vary, it's commonly made of whole wheat bread, nondairy cheese, raw carrots, spinach, seedless raisins, beans, vegetable oil, tomato paste, powdered milk, and dehydrated potato flakes.

Fast Facts on Nutraloaf include:
1. Many prisoners would rather go hungry than to eat this meal
2. It has been used for years across the country
3. It is often served on a single piece of paper
4. No utensils are required to eat it, thus no utensils for the inmates to throw
5. It's so high in fiber it can cause gastric illness

Sounds yummy! So yummers, in fact, that the Vermont State Supreme Court will hear a class-action suit brought by inmates who say it's punishment and that anyone subjected to it should get a formal disciplinary process first. "It's commonplace in other states as a way of providing nutrition in a mechanism that dissuades inmates from throwing feces, urine, trays, and silverware," said Corrections Commissioner Rob Hofmann. He added, "It tends to have the desired outcome." You don't say!

Typically, I come off as fairly Liberal on this blog, but here comes my conservative side with a force so powerful that it thrusts me to stay Moderate. There's a reason why they call prison "prison." Because it's prison! Does Nutraloaf sound disgusting? Hell yes. Should it be given as punishment if unprovoked? Hell no. But frankly, if you're throwing feces like a monkey in the zoo, don't expect a tasty banana in return.


Anonymous said...

They are getting what they deserve in my opinion. They are lucky to be getting shitloaf with my taxdollars, especially since they couldn't live like a normal citizen, which earned them time in prison in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely not, considering the staggering number of innocent people in prison just as one of the many reasons why this is wrong, these people already have every single liberty stripped from them, is it so much to ask that they can't have at least an almost passable meal that doesnt look my little sister made it in the backyard in a bucket? I think NOT.