Thursday, April 17, 2008

Mitt Romney is No Margaret Cho

There is a pervading stereotype that conservatives aren't funny/good comedians. Mitt Romney has only lent more weight to that assertion. Romney made a surprise cameo at Wednesday night's Radio & TV Correspondents' Dinner, where he delivered a "Top Ten" list of reasons why he dropped out of the presidential race. Most of these fall flat, except #4 which is beautifully self-deprecating and absurdly wonderful. But, I'll let you be the judges as to whether this routine gets Dane Cook's superfinger or just a big thumbs down.

10. There weren't as many Osmonds as I thought.

9. I got tired of corkscrew landings under sniper fire.

8. As a lifelong hunter, I didn't want to miss the start of the varmint season.

7. There wasn't room for two Christian leaders.

6. I was upset that no one had bothered to search my passport files.

5. I needed an excuse to get fat, grow a beard and win the Nobel prize.

4. I took a bad fall at a campaign rally and broke my hair.

3. I wanted to finally take off that dark suit and tie, and kick back in a light-colored suit and tie.

2. Once my wife Ann realized I couldn't win, my fundraising dried up.

1. There was a miscalculation in our theory: "As Utah goes, so goes the nation."

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